Quick Glance
at some things authors do to obscure the message

Writing is devilish; the general sin is wordiness. We put down the first thought that comes, we miss the best order, and we then need lengths of it's, of's, by's and which's—words virtually meaningless in themselves—to wire our meaningful words together again.

Sheridan Baker— The Practical Stylist

  Maintaining the Reader's Attention

A pattern undermining the effectiveness of many manuscripts is the author's tendency to speak "at" the reader in a remote, abstract voice.  Authors can get so wrapped up in their expertise that they often stop paying attention to how they are presenting the material.  Or the text suffers this "abstract" malaise because of poor style and grammar.  Though the content editor deals with some of the style issues listed on the sidebar, it is the skillful copyeditor, the person who heroically trudges through the text line by line, who makes a manuscript "sing electric."

Make every word count and make every word mean what it says.  This will take the fat out of your text, eliminate the remote or abstract tone, and help you speak directly "to" the reader.  In return, the reader will pay more attention to what you are saying.  See 5 Reader Turn-Offs or these grammar sites.
 

  Eliminating the Passive Voice

The passive voice creates wordy and vague sentences by flip flopping the object and the subject in a sentence, putting the object first and the subject last. Why use five words when you can say it better in three?  Passsive voice: Chocolate (object) was eaten (verb) by Gary (subject).  Active Voice: Gary (subject) ate (verb) chocolate (object).  In the active voice the doer of the action is always the subject of the sentence and the verb is followed by the direct object.

In the passive voice, verbs are always preceded by a form of the verb to be and are expressed in the past participle form of the verb, creating extra connecting words in the sentence that can distance and confuse the reader. (Some forms of the verb "to be" that indicate a passive voice: am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been.)  Failing to identify the subject first, and using extra connecting words like which, of, by, with, has and been makes it difficult for the reader to know who is  responsible for the action.  The final effect is to once again lose the reader's attention. 

The passive voice can be effective in creating a sense of objectivity,  such as focusing attention on the thing acted upon. Academic, scientific, bureaucratic, and legal writing often use the passive voice for this reason (not naming or obscuring the responsible party in the action). The passive voice is also useful when the subject acted upon is unknown or unimportant, or if you want to use long modifiers at the end of the sentence.  But more often than not the passive voice obscures the meaning and makes for boring reading. So unless you know why you are using the passive voice, don't. Eliminate it. See these grammar sites.
 

 Using Figures of Speech

                       Literary & Rhetorical Terms                FAQ Trademarks
 

Formatting Citations and Author Permission Letter

Citations are an integral part of your completed manuscript.  Ethics, as well as copyright laws, requires authors to identify their sources. Also obtaining permissions for copyrighted material is often the author's responsibility (see manuscript guidelines and  author permission letter). Using your editor to track down permission letters and edit incomplete, inaccurate, or poorly formatted citations, takes away valuable time he or she could be using to improve your text. In the end the publisher will cut material if the they cannot determine the source of your quotes, notes, etc.  Citation issues and the lack of permission letters can literally stop the presses. ( continue: includes citation examples)
 

  Reviewing a Completed Manuscript

Evaluating a manuscript is very subjective. One person may think it almost perfect.  Another sees it riddled with problems.  For the publisher, the review process and its outcome is determined by some very simple guidelines such as readability, subject matter (is it the kind of subject the publisher is looking for?), and marketability.  This example manuscript evaluation form covers the key areas a typical reviewer uses, and will give you a head start on what the publisher is looking for. (continue: includes example of manuscript evaluation form)